Thursday, August 25, 2011

I'm Fat

Those of you who know me know that I lost 30 pounds last spring.  Well, it seems I gained about 12 of those pounds back.  And not in my boobs, or ass (where I really need it).  Yeah, the Food Baby has come home.

I was blaming it on my herniated disc and the fact that I can't go exercise without being incapacitated for a couple of days (like I really use my gym membership, heh).  However, I believe the "serving" of wine (read: serving = bottle) I've been having on a regular basis has welcomed the FB back into my life.

Eating:  overrated

I figure if I cut out breakfast, and lunch, I will solve this problem.

You can't go home again, it seems.  Unless you are my Food Baby. 

I Burned My Cookies, So I'm Eating Yours

I'm too lazy to come up with anything good, but I need to get back into the habit of blogging, so today I am just going to give you the most current list of Things That Piss The Fuck Out Of Me Daily.  Enjoy.

  • People who don't know how to drive - this consists of about 99.999% of the driving other words, everyone else but me
  • Children who run out into the street in front of my car  Parents who do not watch their children so that they run out into the street in front of my car
  • Mental Giants who think it's acceptable to stop and text in the middle of the entrance to a grocery store
  • The Facebook Name Nazis who wouldn't accept "Chicken" as a nickname...hello, you suck
  • Waking up at four in the morning
  • Infomercials (there is nothing else on at four in the morning)
  • Really bizarre infomercials with 20-something girls talking about how "size matters" - I don't want to see that shit in the middle of the night
  • Sagging - Seriously, you all aren't over this yet??
  • Self-proclaimed "foodies" who really don't know what they are talking about
  • One-Up-Manship (only because I'm better than you are, so you can't win at this game)
  • Idiots who read blogs like and take the humor seriously
  • The fact that I deleted the original non-girlfriend and didn't bother to archive
  • My Food Baby
  • That I was drunk blogging three weeks ago and lost the login info to my original URL...this one pretty much blows
I leave you with this:

It's disgusting.  And it's what I put on top of my tiny white dog's food just so the spoiled little brat will eat his dry dog food.  The dry dog food that costs about $10 for a small bag. 

[No apologies for the Stinky Salmon Picture.  If I have to look at that shit on a daily basis, so do you.]